Tar Heel Fan

Friday, May 05, 2006

The NC State Coaching Search Ballad

To the tune of Don McLean's American Pie A long, long time ago I can still remember An NC State title run And the fans crowed how they were the best Walking around with gigantic chests And it seems they were having lots of fun But the NCAA made them shiver With every sanction it delivered Selling shoes for hard cash A stolen stereo in the trash. Then came Les, and then came Herb Hoping the losing would begin to curb But the fan’s delusions only grew At a place we call MooU CHORUS So, bye, bye to that Herbie guy Went to five straight tourneys but all the fans still cried The farmer boys were all drinking until they puked Saying, “I wish we could at least beat dook” “I wish we could at least beat dook” Did you read the media guide? Do you believe in Wolfpack Pride? Only if Amato tells us so. Is NC State better than UNC? This year they thought that is how it would be, And the Pack would finally win ACC But something happened on the RBC floor UNC dropped the Pack by 24 Noel dunked on the heads And the fans went off their meds Then they lost to BC and they lost Wake At Greensboro the Deacs drove in the stake And Herb looked for another job to take At a place we call MooU CHORUS Now Herb was gone and the fans rejoiced Hoping that Fowler would soon make the right choice And bring Rick Barnes to Raleigh So he made some calls and offered some cash Hoping it would be enough to make Barnes dash And the wuffies would dance with glee. But while Fowler was looking down Barnes got a raise that would astound He called and told Lee “No!” “I have a title contender you know” So the rumors broke and the fans did scream Realizing they had lost their dream And it was looking worse than it really seemed At a place we call MooU CHORUS So the search wore on as the spring came Fowler came up with another name Of someone he thought would fit the bill So Air Hog One did hit the air To talk to a coach who had great hair, And wanted more money from the till. But Pack Pride did track the flight And the fans kept watch by the arena at night They heard John was here for a bit And they nearly had a fit. Until they realized that something was rank As Calipari used the Pack just like ol’ Frank And now the search was in the tank At a place we call MooU CHORUS So they contacted Billy, Tom Crean, and Few Izzo, Patino, and Romar too. But none them wanted to talk So they talked to Bo Ryan, Tim Floyd, and Wright Tubby Smith was contacted late one night But no one was ready to take a walk So Lavin and Beiline were the next two names Who had experience and some coaching fame But no one bothered to see What kind of buyout there might be Since Beiline was in for about 3 mil And Lavin’s fiancé loved the LA thrill It was 30 days and no coach still At a place we call MooU CHORUS So Fowler and State were a laughingstock For every journalist to write and mock And the fans were beginning to turn away Some talked about Phil Ford and even Whitt Some thought one of them might be a good fit But nothing as the calendar changed to May And finally there was some news to read Sidney Lowe had finally earned his degree The offer was finally extended The long nightmare had ended And three coaches I admire most Dean, Roy, and McGuire’s ghost Were glad they did not get called for the post At a place we call MooU. CHORUS

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