Tar Heel Fan

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Governor Easley Declares Disaster

Assumes Control of NC State Coaching Search RALEIGH(THF)-North Carolina Governor Mike Easley invoked emergency powers late yesterday evening and assumed direct control of the search to replace former NC State head basketball coach Herb Sendek. Under state law the governor has the authority to declare a disaster which affords him a wide range of powers to deal with a catastrophic situation. Within minutes of the declaration a brigade of national guard troops were seen on Hillsborough Street near the NC State campus and were apparently positioning themselves to occupy the athletic department in order to maintain control of the situation. NC State Athletic Director Lee Fowler, who was apparently at home, was met at the door by a small contingent of soldiers who informed the embattled AD that he was under house arrest for the duration of the disaster edict. As the NC State coaching search moved into its second month word began swirling around the state house that a group of NC State supporters in the legislature were signing a petition asking Easley to take action. The move by Easley to declare a disaster over this issue is particularly controversial since the measure is routinely reserved for natural disasters or terrorists acts. A spokesman for the governor's office said it was well within the pervue of the governor's authority to act. "The governor has the authority to invoke emergency powers whenever he feels a situation has arisen which is a serious and dangerous hardship to the public." said press secretary Marge Colter, "The state was able to setup a lottery in three months, but NC State still cannot find a basketball coach after one month? It is an embarassment to the state and it is also having serious reprecussions on worker productivity." According to the Department of Labor, worker productivty during the last 30 days has hit an all time low as people interested in the coaching search have virtually ignored their job responsibilities while attempting to follow the latest news and rumors. The coaching search coming on the heels of the usual downtime during the ACC and NCAA Tournaments led to fear that the state's economy would begin to suffer from the lack of productivy. "The governor is not going to sit idly by and allow the citizens of the state of North Carolina to be held hostage by the complete incompetence of the NC State athletic department." Colter stated, "The effects on worker productivity were too dangerous to ignore and besides it really is a disaster over there[at NC State]." As for possible candidates for the job, the governor's office has refused to comment on names. Legal scholars have noted that since Easley has invoked emergency powers he should be able to appoint someone to the position without dealing with the normal red tape. Some experts even think he might make an interim appointment for next season and then return control of the program back to NC State hoping that they can get someone lined up to coach the team for the 2007-08 season. According to Colter whatever move the governor makes it will be quick and decisive. "Let's face it, NC State has become a national laughingstock and there have been no real signs of any movement for days from the NC State administration. Invoking these powers is the last thing any governor wants to do but someone had to do something or it might never end" ***This is a parody news article***

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